The Autobiography of a Cat!
by Pendragon-sama
Summary: The life of one of my cats, he tells us in detail what happened in his life. DISCONTINUED unless I am asked to do otherwise!
1. Chapter 1

Hello there, my name is Johnson. I am a cat. My life has been a mixture of good and bad times, and now I'm at the ripe old age of 14, that's 70 in cat years. My fur used to be jet black with white socks and a white splash across my stomach, but now it's a sortof dark grey. My mother was a tortoiseshell, a species that has never ceased to amaze me, a blend of tabby, ginger, black, white and each tortoiseshell looks different. Not only that, but also the fact that all tortoiseshell's are female. There have been a few conspiracy cases where people will announce they have found a male, but having conversed with some of these cats myselves, the owners are either lying or have very bad eyesight when it comes to urr... determining the gender of the cat, shall we say. Well, back to my mother, I remember she had a patch of tabby over the left side of her face, and her tail was completely ginger except for the tip, which was black. I never learnt who my father was.

In my litter there were 6 of us, two black and white, another tortoiseshell, and two tabby's (another fascinating aspect of the tortoiseshell is that they can give birth to a mixture of species). My mother used numbers instead of names, so that when our owners came we could receive proper names and learn them quickly. I was given the number 4, and I grew especially attached to number 6, the other black and white kitten. She was easily the prettiest of the litter, an almost heart-shaped spot on her face, showing her beautifully piercing blue eyes and dainty pink nose. Her white socks were small and neat, with little pink pads on the underside. Her tail was quite long for a cat, coloured black, tipped with white, and she sat with it curled about her.

But as soon as we were old enough, we were seperated from our mother, and taken to the front of the house, an area we had never ventured before in our adventures about the rest of the house. The front of the house was a pet shop, or more accurately, a _cat_ shop. Many small containers lined the walls of the shop, familiar to those found in a vet's, where they keep the patients. In each of these containers were one or two cats, and I was put into one with 6.

Unfortunately the owners of the cat shop did not paticularly care about the cats themselves, only the money that they profited from selling them. Therefore the living conditions were indeed, horrible. The newspaper on the floor of the container was never changed, and our excrement was shovelled out every few weeks. The food was satisfactory, but they never even bothered to put it in a dish, and occaisionally they would remember to give us some water. They never took us out to give us a bath, so our fur became dull and matted.

One day the cat shop door opened and a woman with a young girl came inside, the woman looked about her in horror as she saw how we were being treated, her hand rising up to her mouth. But the little girl was oblivious to all this and only stared gazing at all the containers, then she spotted me and 6, and rushed over crying "Kittens!" in the most adorable voice I had ever heard.


	2. Chapter 2

I was stunned, the woman and the little girl had bought me and 6, we were put into a carrier-box and then carried to something big and shiny, what I later discovered was called a car. When we started moving, I panicked, but 6 reassured me and soon I had relaxed.

The house wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. It was tall, thin and long, with a lounge, dining room, kitchen, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. We were taken into the upstairs bathroom and the woman started running water into a bath, something else I had never seen before. When we were let out of the carrier-box they put us into the bath, which was shallow and warm, they added soap and shampoo to the water and the woman washed us gently with a flannel, it reminded me of my mother's toungue licking me clean, I'd missed that. 6 was enjoying herself immensly, splashing in the bubbles and tugging on the flannel, jumping up the sides, almost to the top but not quite high enough to reach the edge.

After the bath, the little girl was ready with a towel, but she was a little rough and by the time she'd finished drying me, I looked more like a cottonball than a cat, with my fur sticking out all over me. The woman brushed my now shiny fur straight, and then began talking to the little girl, who had 6 sleeping in her lap. She looked up and said "Now you'll have to decide what to call them", the little girl giggled and answered "That's easy, Jamie and Johnson", the woman laughed and said "But one of them's a girl, shouldn't she have a different name?", the little girl frowned and crossed her arms, then suddenly looked up with a smile, "I know, how about _Alice_ and Johnson?". The woman grinned "Perfect, Alice is the one in your lap, and this one is Johnson", she bent down to tickle my ears. Then the little girl said "Mummy, I'm hungry", and the woman replied "OK, Livvi, I'll get dinner ready, and I suppose those two are a bit hungry too".

The Whiskers pouches were delicious, both Alice and I licked our new dishes clean, mine was flavoured with beef, hers with salmon. Livvi and Mummy were sitting at a table eating something that smelt of potatoes, fish and salt. Then we were taken into the lounge and Livvi played with us, using a ball on a string, until a certain program came onto the TV, and then she sat on the sofa and gazed at the screen, her mouth slightly open. After a while, a knock came at the front door and Mummy went to answer it. A man stood outside, he had a bottle in his hand and a smile on his face. Mummy invited the man inside "So good to see you Johnny" my ears pricked at the sound of his name, it sounded like mine. I went to tell Alice about the strange man, but she was fast asleep in Livvi's lap again, Livvi hadn't even noticed that someone had come to the house, she was still absorbed watching the TV.

The man came into the room and Livvi looked away from the screen to greet him, he stayed on the sofa for a minute or two before saying "Those animals on the TV are called gazelles", Livvi looked up at him and said "They are _Thompson's _gazelles". The man burst out laughing and so did Mummy, who had been standing in the doorway.

**A/N: The city is London, and I lived there until I was 8, and my mum bought Alice and Johnson for my 6****th**** birthday. I hope you've enjoyed it so far, click the green button!**


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